As I went back through JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure to try and decide on a moment for this year’s 12 Days of Anime, I found that just about every episode of Battle Tendency contained several scenes just as worthy of The List as any of the moments I had included from other shows. Recognizing a futile endeavor when I see one, I created the 12 Days of HOTBLOOD, to run alongside the regular 12 Days of anime, and I’ll be dedicating half of those days to approximately episodically blogging the 2013 portion of Battle Tendency, two episodes at a time.
Awaken, My Masters!
Having survived their first encounter with Santana, the powerful Man In The Pillar, JoJo and co. travel to Rome to investigate the report that there may be more of these ancient warriors in slumber there.
Arriving on the scene, they are greeted by a peerless display of sculpted musculature, as the Pillar Man Wham gracefully springs from his stony prison of 2000 years. With an ominous, chanting BGM and a cry of “AWAKEN, MY MASTERS!”, he summons his fellow Pillar Men from their slumber to assume a group pose so overpoweringly manly that it shimmers in the darkness of the cave.
Wham Drops The Bass
Caesar and JoJo take the fight to the Pillar Men, using their superb posing ability and comically enormous back muscles, respectively.
TNT – It’s Dynamite
Desperate as the Pillar Men easily shrug off the power of the Ripple, JoJo puts into action his most reliable backup plan.
When Wham sees through “Plan B: RUN AWAY!”, Plan C involves more traditional means of warfare: namely, a stick of dynamite. AC/DC, however, identifies this new battle plan as a golden opportunity for a music reference.
A Warrior’s Wedding
Out of options, JoJo is left with only one last ditch attempt at survival. The master of trickery tries to sweet-talk his way into being let go.
In keeping with the time-tested Pillar Man mating ritual, the rings are filled with poison and will dissolve in one month, meaning that JoJo must, in that time, fight them to the death for the antidote. If this isn’t the most romantic thing you’ve ever heard, I don’t know what to tell you.